Living Memory

Have you ever felt that you missing someone until you feel want to cry? And yes, I admit that I miss someone a lot right now. It is true when some people said that you never realise how much you love someone until they are gone. Now I know how true that is. When they are gone, these questions below keep on playing in my mind..Have I expressed gratitude to him which I owe him so much? Do I express it with eloquent words? Do I show it with loving touch? Have I expressed gratitude to him who has given me this life? Do I express it by striving towards joy? Do I express it by overcoming storminess? I just don’t know how to answer it at all. The most important thing here that you are always in my mind even you are not here anymore, papa..May God bless you always! May you rest in peace there..

60 Days

In everyone eyes, there lies a secret. A dirty little secret of which we hardly reveal. Some of us would like to share, but many would not. You might see me as a normal girl but in fact, I had a bad life few years back. I did drugs at the young age of 13 and became an alcoholic when I was 15. I skipped classes to hang out with those 20 years old school dropouts. My parents? Both of them were busy managing their own firms. Even though I was the only child, it seemed like they couldn't give their attention to me. I hated them. I often stayed at my friends house for weeks. I ate and slept there. When I didn't have money, I started to steal things. We were usually 'doing' our job at Parksville Hyper Market. Being chased by the police was just a common thing for us. Actually, it was fun. Really.

It was 3 years ago. Things changed when I entered Williams Rehabilitation Center in South Dakota. I was sent there by my parents to seek for healing to my seriousness. At first, I tried to escape from the center but eventually, I was busted. I spent 2 months in that horrible place. I got to know with some people who have the same problems like me, or even worse. Don't expect everything went right in the rehab center. We often tried to commit suicide. I needed my marijuana badly. There was a friend of mine who found dead in her bathroom because she didn't take her heroine for 3 days. It was cruel to us. During the 4th week, we were introduced to a technique called 'Senses Detector' and the detector was a horse! We were asked to rub the horse from her head to her legs and command her to lift one of her legs. If she refused, it meant our emotions were not stable. I thought the horse was deaf. She did not obey to our commands. I was so mad and I'll make sure that someday I'm going to make her lifting her leg. As days passed, I started to see life with a different sight. I began to plant and grow some shrubs in front of our yard. I visited old folks' house during weekends. I couldn't believe that I could cry seeing an old woman who was trying to eat with her shaking hand.

After 2 months in rehabilitation, I was encouraged to quit. It was because I've shown a great improvement compared to others. My friends made a warm farewell party to me. I'm going to miss you, guys! I went back home to see my parents. They looked totally amused. I was standing in front of them with less make-up, nice and neat blouse and well-combed hair. With all of a sudden, warm tears rolling down my cheeks. They hugged me and gave me passionate kisses on my forehead. It felt so secure. The memory of the horse suddenly came into my mind. I asked them to bring me to an equestrian club and they agreed.

I registered my name in the club and I couldn't wait to touch the strong horses. There was a brown horse near a birch tree. I approached her. I touched her. I rubbed her head and legs. Suddenly, she lifted her leg. I was screaming happily. I didn't expect that the horse would listen to me. I have accomplished my resolution!

It was a new beginning of my life. I quit smoking, swallowing crazy pills and stop drinking. I've become a grown up girl now.

something to talk about..

In these few days..
I'm looking back at the beginning of life..
And how life was..
Without I realise, life is like an ocean..
The current's slowly pulling me down..
I'm getting harder to breathe..
I look ahead to all the plans that I've made..
And the dreams that I had..
All this time I've just been too blind to understand..
At the end, this life I live..
It is not what I have..
It is what I believe..
And yes..
I'm broken hearted inside..
People does not know..
Goofing happily around..
Just pretend to be fine is hard..
Underneath, it just me who know the real me..
Let it be!
Let it gone!
I'm tired..damn tired!
And of course i will be fine..

Food For Hair

F.O.O.D..

We snack on them and store them in the fridge, but did we know that they also feed your hair with much needed nutrients for our own body? Here, I would like to share with you out there about some food that contributes benefits to our hair..

• Avocado - It helps our dull hair become vibrant again. Here is the tips to do it. First, mix one ripe avocado with two tablespoons of plain yoghurt. Then, comb it through your damp hair. Rinse it off and shampoo after 10 to 15 minutes.

• Mayonnaise and Eggs - Mayonnaise contain egg protein to make a rich conditioning agent. Here is the tips to do it. First, mix one raw egg with 3 tablespoons of mayonnaise and apply it to dry hair. Then, bundle hair up and slip on a shower cap. Just leave it for 15 minutes and then rinse it all the way.

• Thyme and apple - These two things here help to eliminate dandruff. Here is the tips to do it. First, blend juice from two oranges, half peeled apple, half a banana and one tablespoon of fresh thyme. Massage the mixture onto damp hair and sclap. After that, rinse and shampoo your hair thoroughly.

• Apple Cider Vinegar - It help to boosts shine and removes dandruff really well. Believe it or not, try it yourself by smoothe a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar through hair to make your hair become vibrant again.

I really hope all of you try it out. See you later..daaa!!

L.O.V.E or F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P?

"Have you ever loved and lost somebody? Wish there was a chance to say I'm sorry..." the morose S Club 7's 'Have You Ever' came out from the radio. For few minutes, I was awash within a sea of emotions. I wasn't focusing on Chemistry anymore. My mind was thinking about something else. Yes, something else. Yesterday, Ina, a friend of mine who wishes to be a film director asked me some creative ideas to put under her latest role-play, 'Love or Friendship?'. It reminds me to the story of mine. It happened in August 2007...

Mike, Tom, Joanne and I were having a good time in Aquaria, KLCC. We took some crazy shots with those freaking reptiles and the cute rainbow- coloured fish. Mike, our photographer seemed interested with the giant Arowana, which mostly can be found in Amazon River, Brazil. He took pictures of the fish at many different angles. After 3 hours of joy and laughters, we went out from Aquaria. Joanne said she wanted to find a new 'tee', so we headed to Romp. Only Joanne and I went inside the store. The guys just waited outside. I was amazed looking at Romp's latest white cardigan. And, it's very comfortable too. Without further thinking, I just grabbed one. Joanne bought a green half- cut cardigan for herself. Happily, we went out from the store. Suddenly, we saw Tom was talking to a guy. The guy was about 190 cm, has fair skin and his long black hair covered the side of his face. He's a bit like Radhi OAG, I can tell you. Tom and his friend were chatting quite a some time making us to wander around. After they waved goodbye, we went back to college. We took our dinner at KL Sentral Food Court. Tom told us about his friend. His name was Alex and he was Tom's secondary schoolmate. Strangely, Tom always praised Alex in front of us. "Alex is a good singer. He can play guitar very well. Alex is also a good entertainer. He loves making jokes. Don't be shocked if I tell you that he's a great cook!". We were like,"huh?". Joanne seemed keen in him. Tom added some more praises. But, I wasn't listening. My eyes were glued at Parkson's brochure...

A week later, Tom told Joanne and I that the Alex guy sent his regard to us. He met him at Universiti Malaya yesterday. Joanne looked very happy to hear that. I can say that she was in love with him. Hmm...love at the first sight, I guess. And I was happy for that. She asked for his phone number and his friendster's URL to 'explore' more about him. But Joanne was a bit shy to send him messages. He told Tom to ask Alex to text her first. But Tom said something which was contaradict. "Joanne, Alex likes Esther. He wants to know more about her". Tom was smilling at me. I was like, "What the heck is going on?". Joanne's face turned pale. She couldn't accept the truth. She was trying to be optimistic. I pretended like nothing happened.

My relationship with Joanne was still in a good condition. The problem was in me. Tom kept urging me to give feedback to Alex. But I refused. Honestly speaking, I started to like Alex; but not more than a friend. Joanne was still hoping for Alex's message. I kept my geelings as a secret and I didn't tell Joanne about the the truth. I just want her to be happy. Until one day, I thought that I shouln't hide this from a close friend. One evening, I told Joanne everything. I thought that she was ok with that but in fact, she was mad at me. Really mad. She said that my deed reminds her to her beastie who backstabbed her 5 years ago. It hurt me too much. Was it wrong to have feelings on someone who got crush on you? Was it sinful? I felt like I want to cry out loud.

After that incident, things got pretty intense. I tried my best to avoid talking about Alex in front of her. I know Joanne more than I know him. If I chose him, she might get hurt. If I chose Joanne, Alex might get hurt, but it's a better choice, right? In life, we do have choices. And I chose friendship...

If only I can choose both~




*This story is from one of our members' experience. Names are changed to protect one's privacy.

pimples? NO WAY!!

Hahak! i choose this topic to talk about today because i feel this kinda of topic really near realated to us, as girls..plus, nowadays, there is a lot of assignment and lab report to be done before the due date to pass it up..for me, it's not a burden but it makes me felt really tense..*wink*..

Just follow these three easy steps which works deeply into your skin to cleanse away dirt and excessive sebum. It also helps to unclog pores to keep those zits at bay! yuhuu!!

1. It all begins with cleansing. Cleansing is the most important first step in any skin care regimen. A good cleanser will remove dirt, oil, sweat, make up and other impurities from the skin. This step is really important because it makes our skin prepare for acne-fighting. You will notice improvement in your skin's overall clarity and brightness with consistent usage of cleanser.
2. A great boost to your basic skin care routine is control mask. Control mask not only will relax your skin, it also offer extra deep cleansing and exfoliation to troubled skin. Masks send a concentrated dose of ingredients deep into skin and act efficiently to keep it clean and blemish free, thus reducing the frequency and severity of breakouts.
3. Sunblock as protector. Sun rays will damage folicular walls and those lesions will trigger an inflammatory response, in other word known as acne breakout. Sun rays also dry out the skin, increase the risk of skin cancer and early aging of the skin. Normally we apply sunblock which is act as 'tinted protector' before we heading for outdoor activities.

Glam Dinner (girls only)

Today's blog concentrates on Do-It-Yourself makeover. And it's for dinner time!

As for the eyes, smokey eyes are the best for dinner. If you want to apply colours like green, blue or red, make sure the colours are really dark. If you use very bright colours, you should go to the party then =). To get the outstanding results, firstly, you apply black eyeliner and put some mascara to make your eyes look heavier. Then, give your eyebrows a light natural base by covering them with soil colour eyeshadow. For an extra 'peeping' effect, add dark tone colours eyeshadow like dark brown or black- brown tone. Don't forget to hide the puffiness of your eyes. Use concealer which is one tone lighter than your skin colour. It gives you a nice perfect looking eyes.

Then, we go to the cheeks. As you always do, pat some foundation or concealer (you might need this to cover up some scars) concentrating on neutral tones. When you're going to dinner, remember the attractions are your eyes and lips. So, don't be too much on cheeks. Just give it an apricot or peach-like shade blush and apply it on your cheek bone (not the apple, the bone!). The tone will give you a nice- shaped face and it's perfect for having a gala.

Now, we move on to every one's favourite part. The lips. You have to use creamy and less shining lipstick as it gives you a perfect dinner pout. Don't apply gloss excessively because it will distract the attraction of your eyes. Heavy and concentrated colours like deep red, crimson and scarlet best suit the night. If you are brave enough, try 111 Red Lancome Colour Fever Cream Lasting Radiance Sensual lipstick if you want.

So girls, are you ready for a night out?